


Becoming Normal (book two to Seeking Normal)

by Storm (Stormyskies97)



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-21 10:37:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 18,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15555876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormyskies97/pseuds/Storm
Summary: Six months after Lillian made her decision to cure herself of vampirism everything is finally coming together. She's happy, nervous, and excited all at the same time.Will she be cured?Will she get to grow old with Jax?Will everything work out the way she wants it too?"





	1. Chapter 1

It’s been six months since I had decided to try this deadly cure to change back into a human. Not that the vampire life was bad but, I wanted to grow old with my boyfriend and have kids with him without having to worry about watching them die knowing I could never join them. I haven’t had blood for three months and it was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Ruth and Josh almost had everything they needed to perform the transfusions and keep my heart beating. Just thinking about it made my extremely happy and nervous at the same time. 

I spent the majority of my days preparing myself mentally for what was about to happen. I spent as much time as I could with Jax not knowing if I would make it through the process. I had made letters for everyone with Thank you’s and apologies for everything they’ve done for me, for putting them through everything. I didn’t want to leave them thinking I didn’t appreciate everything they’ve done for me. 

“What are you doing? You’ve been writing for hours. Get your ass over here and watch this movie with us.” Dex said kind of irritated as he patted the spot next to him. I sighed and put my notebook and pencil away.

“Fine Fine. Sorry I’m trying to prepare myself for what’s about to happen.”

“You’ll be fine. You’ve managed this long.” He said as he hit play, not waiting for me to make it over to the couch. I sat between him and Jax as the movie began. 

Once it was over Dex went upstairs leaving Jax and I alone. Orion had dropped in to say hi and chat for a bit before going to his room. His sister had moved out awhile ago leaving just the three guys here. 

“You still writing letters aren’t you?” Jax asked once Orion had left. I shifted under his arm to look up at him. 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“No reason. I just thought you finished those awhile ago.” 

I took his arm off of my shoulders and turned to face him. 

“You’ve been different lately. What’s going on?” He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. 

“What if you turned me instead of going through all this nonsense.” I couldn’t believe what he said. I stood up and stared at him.

“I thought you’d support me in this. I thought you were ok with us growing old together and have kids.” My voice was rising with each words.

“I do support you. I just don’t want to lose you. We have something good going and I don’t want that to end.” 

I couldn’t believe he was having second thoughts when we literally had four days left. 

“You should’ve said something sooner. It’s too late to stop everything now.” I walked over and grabbed my bag. 

“It’s not too late damn it! You can easily tell Ruth and Josh you changed your mind.”

“But I didn’t change my mind. Only you.” He grabbed my arm and spun me around so I was facing him. 

“I’m not going to lose you. Not like this.” I jerked my arm out of his grip. 

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m doing this for us. I can’t stand the thought of watching you grow old and I’m not going to turn you, I haven’t eaten in months, I’d probably kill you.” He pulled me closer to him and kept his hands on my arms. 

“Please. Just reconsider.” I shook my head. 

“No. I’ve made up my mind. We have someone who’s willing to help. I’m not going to tell him it’s not happening. We have it to where he won’t die and it won’t hurt me. Let me go home.” He shook his head. 

“No. We’re not done talking about this.”

“Yes. We are.” 

“No. We’re not.” 

“Damn it Jax. Just let it go!” 

“No! I’m not gonna lose you like this.”

Before I could argue he had his lips pressed against mine. I could feel the pain and desperation in his kiss. He picked me up and carried me to his room. He pinned me against the bed, his eyes had a small silver splash to them. I pushed against his chest trying to get him to move but he was as stiff as a board in more ways than one. 

“We’re not having make up sex.” I said giving up, he chuckled and placed small sweet kisses along my neck. I bit my lip to hold in the moan. 

“You’ll cave. You always do.” His voice was deep and husky. 

“No. Not this time.” I said as I pushed him off and made a beeline for the door. He grabbed my around my waist and pulled me back onto the bed holding me in place. 

“Jax. No. Bad dog.” I said trying to break free of his grip. He made a mock sound of being offended. 

“I guess you have to punish me since I’m a bad dog.” His voice dripping in sarcasm. I giggled and turned in his arms. He had a cheeky smile plastered into his face. 

“No.” I said sternly as I flicked his nose. He furrowed his brows and rubbed the end of his nose. 

“Why’d you do that?” 

“That’s your punishment. Now go to sleep.” He huffed and held me close to him resting his head on mine. 

“Fine. But you owe me.”

“I owe you nothing. If anything you owe me.” 

He wiggled his eyebrows and kissed the top of my head. 

“Fine. How about I… try and behave for the rest of the night.” I snorted but accepted his half assed attempt at going to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Jax ended up getting his way last night. Shortly after he passed right out and slept till ten the next morning. I had already packed my bag up, made breakfast and had two cups of coffee. Dex and Orion even joined me for breakfast before Jax even made any attempt to get out of bed. 

“How long have you two been down here?” He asked voice laced with sleep as he rubbed his eye. 

“About two hours.” Orion said chuckling to himself. I rolled my eyes and held out a cup of coffee to him. 

“Only thirty minutes.” I said before he could start an argument. He took the coffee from me and drank it happily before taking some bacon off my plate. 

“I’ll kill you.” I muttered as I moved my plate out of his reach. He laughed and munched happily in his stolen bacon. 

“I’d like to see you try. I’ll pull some stuff on you like I did last night.” He winked at me sending my cheek aflame with blush. 

“Fuck off.” I mumbled. Both Dex and Orion looked at me with curious eyes. 

“What did he pull?” Orion asked nudging me with his elbow. 

“Go back upstairs lurch.” I put my plate in the sink and walked away from them. To my dismay they followed. 

“Oh come on Lil. What did he do?” Dex asked teasingly. 

“Ask again and I’ll have Lucile come over and tie you up again!” I yelled at him, dear ran through his face before he backed off leaving only Orion to pester me. 

“Come on. Just tell us.” 

“No. What goes on in his bedroom is none of your business.”

“I pulled some slowly seductive moves on her. Things I knew she couldn’t resist.” Jax said from his spot on the couch. I whipped my head in his direction and narrowed my eyes at him. 

“How. Dare. You.” Dex and Orion began laughing. 

“Come on. They’d have figured it out sooner or later. They’re not that stupid.” 

“Hey!” They both yelled in unison. 

“Fine be mean. I’m going back to my dungeon.” Orion said I’m feigned sadness. 

“Ok. Not like you leave it too often anyways.” 

“Keep it up Jackson!” Orion yelled as he pointed at Jax. 

“Ooooo. Full first name.” Dex said snickering to himself. 

“Same goes for you Dexter.” Orion glared at him before leaving the basement. 

“Dexter? Jackson? No wonder you guys go by Dex and Jax.” I said stifling my laughter. They both looked at each other, smiled, then lunged at me tackling me to the ground. 

“Let go of me! I have to go home!!” I yelled as I fought off their tickling hands. 

“I’m sending Lucile over here if you don’t stop!” I screamed. Dex stopped immediately and backed off. Jax held my wrists to the ground. 

“You better relax. I’m going with you.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Fine. But, hurry up. You take longer than me to get dressed.” Now it was his turn to roll his eyes as he stood up.

I waited outside for him to get dressed. He finally walked out with his sunglasses on and climbed into the passenger seat. I giggled and got in the driver seat and headed towards home. Once we pulled in Willow and Lucile rushed out to greet us. I told Lucile that Dex was waiting for her back at his place and that his full name was Dexter to which she smiled evilly and jumped in her car speeding out of the driveway. 

“What did you just do?” Jax asked staring after the dust Lucile had created. 

“Oh nothing Jackson.” I said calmly as I walked inside arms linked with Willows. 

“He’s gonna kick your ass.” He muttered after us.


	3. Chapter 3

Josh and Ruth were sitting in the living room playing chess like the old people they were. We walked in and sat on the couch watching them play for an hour before we grew bored and turned the tv on earning looks from both of them. 

“What do you think she’s gonna do to him?” Willow asked as she scrolled through the guide. 

“I don’t know. I don’t care. Sucks to be him.” I said scratching my arm. I was feeling itchy all over all of a sudden. Jax grabbed my hand to stop me. 

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked concerned. 

“I don’t know.” I said worried. Ruth and Josh rushed over looking at where I had scratched. 

“You’re going through withdrawals from not having blood.” Ruth said before she got up and left the room. She came back a few moments later with a tube of ointment in her hands. She rolled up my sleeve and applied the ointment, the itching stopped immediately. There was small beads of blood still on the surface of my skin. I stared at it as swallowed. 

“Don’t.” Josh said as he patted my cheek to get my attention. 

“I’m sorry. This is harder than I thought.” I admitted laughing lightly and lookin at everyone. Jax whispered something to Josh and they left the room. 

“It’s ok. You’re gonna get worse before you get better.” Ruth said calmly as she rolled my sleeve back down. 

Willow held my arm in her hand so I would scratch it as we watched tv. Jax and Josh had finally entered the room again after about fifteen minutes. He sat next to me and held my other hand. 

“What did you guys talk about?” I asked

“Only how to help you when things get really bad.” He said giving me a smile. I left it alone for now, I’ll ask him when we were alone. 

“What do you guys wanna watch?” Willow asked trying to drown out the silence that was filling the room. 

“Anything is fine sweetie. I need to get the room ready.” Ruth said as she left and went upstairs. Josh and Jax kept exchanging looks making me slightly uncomfortable. 

“Watch whatever you want. I’m going to my room.” I announce as I got up and walked out of the room not attempting to hide my irritation. 

I was sitting on my bed reading when my door opened and Jax poked his head in. 

“Ya know. We’ve been dating for like seven months and I’ve never seen your room.” He said trying to lighten the mood. I ignored him and continued reading. He slid the books out of my hands and set it on the table. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. Now give me my book back.” Irritation clear in my voice. He sighed and leaned over me. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked again. I shoved him off the bed and grabbed my book opening it to the page I was on. 

“Fine. Don’t fucking tell me.” He said as he walked out leaving me alone. As soon as my door was closed I pulled my blanket over my head and began to cry. I had no idea why I was crying, maybe the lack of blood, my irritation, it was like I was PMSing when I haven’t had a period in forever. 

I laid on my stomach with my face in my pillow staring blankly at whatever was playing in my tv. My door slowly opened and Willow walked in with food. 

“No blood but I thought you might be hungry.” She held out the food to me. I pushed it away and covered my head again. She sighed and sat down still holding the food. 

“What’s going on with you?” 

I shrugged my shoulders under my blanket. She began rubbing my back. 

“If you’re mad at Jax you need to tell him. If you’re just having a bad day that’s ok too.” I let out a shaky sigh. 

“I just don’t know anymore. Jax asked me to not go through with it or to change him into a vampire and I told him no to both. I know I can make it out of this alive and just fine. I think Jax talked to Josh about something and he won’t tell me. It feels like he went behind my back to get Josh to talk me out of it.” Willow sighed and continued rubbing my back. 

“It’ll be ok. Just ask him once you calm down what was said. Just, don’t push him away. He loves you and cares for you deeply. Don’t ruin something so amazing because you’re letting your emotions get the better of you” 

I knew she was right. I burrowed myself deeper into my blanket till she left taking the food with her. My stomach felt like it eating itself as I laid in the fetal position. 

“Is it safe to come in?” Jax asked as he slowly opened the door. He took one look at my form under the blankets and ran back out yelling for Josh and Ruth.


	4. Chapter 4

It felt like it took him years to come back with them. They quickly unbundled my from my blankets and began checking my vitals with Jax worrying the entire time in the corner of the room. I kept my eye shut, I was afraid if I opened them the pain would increase and spread. 

“Lilly, open your eyes hun.” Ruth said trying to coax me into opening my eyes. 

“No. It hurts.” I mumbled out clutching my stomach. 

“She’s going to get worse if she doesn’t get blood.” Ruth said sternly as she kept a hand on my forehead. 

“She can’t have any. She has to cleanse her system.” Josh spoke from somewhere close by. 

“Make it stop.” I cried out. Jax was by my side instantly holding my hand and smoothing the hair out of my face. 

“We can’t love. The only way to stop it is to give you blood and if we do that we have to prolong your treatment.” Ruth spoke sweetly.

I curled myself into a tighter ball. Jax and Josh slowly began stretching my legs out while Ruth cleaned a small square patch on my arm. 

“Willow! My bag and a saline bag!” Ruth hollered. I could faintly hear footsteps padding across the floor at a rushed pace. I felt the pinch in my arm before heat washed through my veins. 

“I’m giving you some morphine as well as fluids. It should help with the stomach pain. We’ll have to start treatment soon that we expected.” She said softly as she smoothed my hair out. I could finally feel my stomach untighten itself and I could stay stretched out without Jax and Josh’s help. 

“Will she be ok?” Jax asked softly, voice full of worry and stress. 

“For now yes. I need to finish getting to room ready. She has a four days left still. We need to start draining her tonight before she looses control and hurts someone close to her.” Ruth spoke in a hushed tone before she walked out. 

Jax took my hand in his and kissed my finger tips. 

“I’m so sorry. I feel like I’m partly to blame for this.” I opened my eyes til they were slits and glanced over at him. 

“It’s not. I chose to do this.” He shook his head and a tear rolled down his cheek. 

“If I had told you what Josh and I talked about you wouldn’t have been so upset. If I hadn’t of bumped into you that day you probably wouldn’t be doing this.” I squeezed his hand stopping him from saying anything else. 

“Stop. Please. I don’t care anymore. All I care about is being with you. I knew what I was getting myself into when I first asked Josh.” He put his forehead on our joint hands and heaved out a big sigh. 

“I know you chose to do this, that you’re willing to possibly die for good to be with me in as normal as possible but I’m still not completely human. You have to remember that. Our lives whether your human or not will not be normal.” I let out a small pathetic laugh. 

“I know. But, it’ll be more normal than what it is now.” He snorted some air out of nose and gave me a small grin. 

“You’re insane, you know that?” He asked smiling at me. 

“Yeah but, you love me.” 

Jax nodded and kissed my fingers again. He smoothed my hair out of my face while the bag slowly dropped into my veins keeping me hydrated. I could feel my eyelids getting heavier with sleep which was weird. 

“I’m so tired.” I managed to say before I lost consciousness.


	5. Chapter 5

I opened my eyes and looked around. I was still in my room but the house was oddly quiet. I threw my legs over the side and listened intently for any kind of sound to let me know someone was here. I thought it strange that Jax wasn’t by my side. I hopped off my bed and walked downstairs. 

“Ruth? Josh? Willow? Jax? Jay?” I called out as I went from room to room on the main floor. 

No answer, no sign of anyone. And now, that I actually began to look around the house seemed grayer then normal. I ran back upstairs and began going from room to room. No one. Not a single trace of life besides me. I leaned against the wall and sank to the floor bringing my knees up to my chest. What the hell was going?!

I sat against the wall for who knows how long before I heard the front door open. I ran downstairs and seen Lucile standing there. 

“Where is everyone?!” I asked in a raised voice. She looked upset as she got closer. 

“We’re all conscious but you. You started convulsing shortly after you got the morphine and saline. They started to stabilize you and drain you of what blood remained. You then went into shock. They’re trying everything that can.” I sank to the floor as tears rolled down my cheeks. 

“How-how are you here then?” She chuckled and stared at me with a smirk. 

“I’m a witch hun. You think a normal human would hang out with vampires and werewolves and be able to astral project to you?” I smiled a little. 

“Good point.” 

“Now, we need you to be calm here in limbo or whatever this is and focus on getting back to us in the waking world.” I nodded my head and watched as she disappeared before my eyes. I stared at where she just stood wondering how I was supposed to stay calm when I was here in the grey landscape alone. 

I wandered around the empty house running my hand along the walls as I went. I felt like I was going to go insane without anything to do. I stared out the window for what seemed like hours. 

“Lillian?! Where are you?” Lucile called out as she walked in. 

“Kitchen!” I called back staring back out the window. 

“Girl. Do you know how long it’s been?” She asked as she sat in one of the chairs. 

“No. The sun doesn’t set here.” She sighed. 

“It’s been ten days.” I whipped my head at her. 

“Ten.. Days?” I asked making sure I heard her correctly. 

“Yeah. Ten days. You’re still in a coma like state, you’re accepting the blood transfusion and color is returning to your face along with a very shallow heart beat and breathing.” So it was working as I had hoped. I looked back outside before looking at her again. 

“How’s everyone?” She snorted. 

“Jax doesn’t leave your side unless we make him shower. Ruth is constantly checking on you. Josh, Willow, Dex, and Jay are constantly waiting for updates. I think Dex is only here because he’s more concerned about how Jax will react if you don’t make it.” I pursed my lips together into a thin line and looked down at the table. 

“Why haven’t I come to yet?” I asked voice soft. 

“I don’t know. Ruth said she thinks it’s cause your heart isn’t strong enough and the fact that you had a seizure like episode so you’re not strong enough to be responsive.” I lifted my head slightly in acknowledgment. She grabbed my hand. 

“You need to fight. We’re all worried about you and Jay wants to kick your ass for doing this and hug you without ever letting go for making it.”

“I’m trying.” She shook her head and had a solemn look on her face. 

“No you’re not. You need to fight hard because your life literally depends on it.” She disappeared before I could respond.

I punched the table breaking it. I wasn’t that strong, there was no way I could break that. I had to fight harder screamed through my brain. I let every time I should’ve been angry about how my parents treated me, every time I should’ve done something but sat on the sidelines fill me with rage. I began punching walls and throwing things around. I had just punched out my window when the entire house began to shake. I looked up and seen bits of the ceiling began to fall to the floor. I stood there and watched as the ceiling began to cave in above me. 

I ran downstairs and tried to open the door. Chunks of wall and ceiling continued to fall and occasionally hit me. I continued trying to open the back door. I pulled and pulled with all my strength but nothing happened. I needed to get out before the house collapsed on me. I kept struggling with the door turning the lock back and forth making sure it wasn’t locked. I glanced up and seen a huge chunk of ceiling breaking off right above my head, I threw my body weight against the door and it finally opened. I fell on my face into a bright white room just as the house fell into ruins behind me.


	6. Chapter 6

I shielded my eyes against the bright light. Eventually my eyes adjusted. There was nothing here, no furniture, no familiar markings, there was absolutely nothing. 

“Please wake up Lilly.” Jax pleaded. 

“I’m here!” I yelled. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. I’m a moron and just wanted you to be happy. I don’t want to lose you.” He didn’t hear me. Why didn’t he hear me? 

“Jax. You need to eat something and shower.” Ruth spoke softly. 

“No. I’m not leaving her side till she wakes up. I can’t leave her.” 

Suddenly I was looking down at myself. Jax looked sickly, he was paler than I remember, he lost some weight but that didn’t stop him from holding my hand and smoothing my hair out. I had a tube down my throat forcing me to breath, an IV in my arm with a saline drip and a tube for the blood transfusion from whoever they had found. I also had little stickers on my forehead and chest monitoring my brain activity and heart beat. 

I stared down at myself, I had a small tanned complexion which wasn’t normal for me, I could see my bones poking out. It made me sick just looking at myself. I watched as Dex walked in and forced Jax to go take a shower and eat something. Josh took his place in the chair at my side while Ruth checked everything. 

“Any progress?” He asked solemnly. 

“Her brain function picked up a little and her heart has gotten stronger. She’s finally accepting the transfusion but her lungs aren’t working so well. I may need to increase her oxygen. If she looses oxygen to her brain it’s all over.” She said as she studied a piece of paper. 

“There’s nothing we can do to give her a little push or something?” He asked as he gently brushed the back of his fingers over my cheekbones. Ruth grabbed his hand to stop him from torturing himself. 

“There’s nothing love. It’s all up to her and her body. Right now her body is playing a year of catch up from not having normal human functions. Even if she does make it, she’ll probably sleep for awhile to catches up the year of sleep she missed.” 

“What set her off? She had a few days left before we started. She’s been like this for twelve days.” So it took me two days to break the house down. 

“Her body was shutting down from not having blood or food for so long. The morphine didn’t help, it numb her pain but didn’t help in any other way. That’s my fault, I should’ve known better. But, she was so miserable I had to do something.” I watched as a tear slid down Ruth’s cheek. Josh wiped it away before pulling her into a hug. I so desperately wanted to hug them and apologize for everything. 

Dex pokes his head into the room and cleared his throat. 

“I got him to shower and eat something downstairs. Is she ok?” Concern laced his voice. Aww how sweet, he does care about me even if it is for his brothers benefit. Ruth whipped her face before turning to face him. 

“She’s ok. Still stable.” Dex nodded and pursed his lips together. 

“Will she make it?” 

“I don’t know. So far it looks like she might pull through but that could all change in a matter of seconds.” He nodded his head and disappeared back out into the hallway. 

“He acts tough but he cares about her. He’s become protective of her the past two weeks. He cares more then he lets on.” Ruth commented as she began fixing things with the live donor. 

“How ya doing sweetie? You alright?” She asked him.

“I’m fine. Maybe a little hungry but I’m fine.” He said sitting in the chair a few feet away. 

“I can get you some food.” Josh said with a small smile as he walked out. 

Watching them like this was weird and made me want to reach out and touch them, to hug them, and tell them how sorry I am to have put this much stress on them. 

Josh returned with a plate of food and handed to the guy before sitting back by my side. The way he stared painfully at me made my heart hurt. I couldn’t watch this anymore. I had to figure out how to get back into my body. Before I could think of anyways Jax walked back in. I could see how malnourished he was. His clothes hung loosely on him. The heart monitor began to go off with an annoying sounding beep. Ruth rushed over and looked at it. 

“That’s the first sign that her heart is truly functional.” Ruth sounded amazed as she shut the beeping off. 

“Why did that happen?” Jax asked scared as he rushed to my side. 

“I’m not sure. It might’ve been her heart getting too strong too fast or her heart finally being able to do more.” Ruth replied as she wrote down what happened in a clipboard. 

“She’s ok though? Right?” Jax looked at her scared. She placed her hand on his shoulder. 

“She’s fine.” Ruth reassured him with a small, soft smile. He relaxed and let out the breath he had been holding. I had to get back to my body, I needed to relive some of their stress and worry.


	7. Chapter 7

I watched as Jax got skinnier and skinnier as the days passed. It killed me to see him like this. Lucile would pop in every so often when no one else was in the room besides the donor and whisper that I need to figure out how to get back to my body like I wasn’t trying. That was all I wanted, was to be able to feel someone holding my hand, to talk to them, to be able to open my eyes and be alive. 

Jax hadn’t moved from his spot in two days. Dex has tried everything to get him to get up and shower and eat something. He didn’t have the energy to even shake his head no. All he did was hold my hand, tell me how much he loved me, and how I needed to wake up. Even Ruth tried to get him to eat every time she brought the donor some food. He never even attempted to eat it. I watched in horror as he collapsed to the ground unconscious. I wanted so badly to help him. 

“Jay! Help me!” Ruth yelled out the door as she tried to lift Jax up. Jay rushed in looking panicked. 

“What happened?” He asked a she helped put Jax in the empty bed next to me. 

“He collapsed. He hasn’t eaten anything in a week.” She said as she looked for a vein. Once she found one she stuck the IV in and started him on fluids. 

“Man. How shitty would it be if she wakes up and he’s like this? She’d kill all of us if anything happened to him while she was like this.” He said gesturing to me. I could see the pain on his face as he spoke. Even though he had been an over protective asshole, he still cared. 

“It would suck yes. So we have to make sure he doesn’t look like that when she wakes up. She’s getting stronger everyday pretty soon she won’t need the donor blood and will be able to have blood bags.” Ruth added as she finished hooking a heart monitor to Jax. 

“What happened I heard you- what the hell!?” Dex yelled as he rushed to his brothers side. 

“He’s ok. He collapsed. He hasn’t eaten and he’s paying for it now.” Jay said slightly off putting. Dex glared at him before turning his attention back to Jax. 

“You moron. She’s gonna kick your ass and all our ass’ cause you’re an idiot and don’t know how to take care of yourself.” Dex murmured. 

“I know.” Jax said weakly as he looked at his brother with heavy lidded eyes. 

“Why? Why did you do that?” Dex asked, sorry all over his face. 

“Look at her. She looks like a damn zombie. If she dies, what’s the point?” He was depressed, I had seen those looks on my parents faces when they didn’t have money for their alcohol and drugs. 

“She’s getting better. Ruth just told me she can be on a blood bag soon. Her heart is getting stronger every day.” Dex was trying to reason with him. He was speaking so gently to his brother that it warmed my heart to see him so sweet. 

“The only concern we have right now is her lungs. They’re not where they should be. But everything else is fine.” Ruth commented as she turned down his saline drip. 

“What if her lungs don’t get better?”

“They will. She’s fighting, she’s doing her best hunny. She needs you to be healthy when she wakes up so you can help take care of her. Will you promise me for her sake that you will start to take care of yourself?” Ruth asked with a look of concern on her face. Jax nodded his head and looked over at me. 

“Can I be moved closer so I can hold her hand?” Jay, Ruth, and Dex carefully moves his bed closer to mine. He grabbed my hand and held it in his. 

“I promise I’ll start taking care of myself for you. I’m sorry for being such a moron.” I wanted so badly to squeeze his hand to let him know I could hear him.

“Thank you sweetie. I’ll come check on you in a few minutes.” Ruth said before she walked out taking one last look into the room. Dex stayed in the room long after Jay had left.

“I get that you love her and all but, you need to think about how she would feel if she did all this and you weren’t here. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She loves you more than you think. She’s doing all this for you, and I know I was a real jackass in the beginning but, seeing how happy she makes you I’d hate to lose both of you at once.” Dex was fighting back tears as he spoke. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Now you sound like her. Stop apologizing and start taking care of yourself dumbass.” He walked out after angrily wiping at his face. I never knew he felt that way about me. I guess I wormed my way into his heart by making Jax happy.


	8. Chapter 8

With each passing day Jax got healthier looking, he started putting in weight again and his clothes began to fit him normally once more. As he got strong I seemed to get weaker. My lungs were slowly closing, and my body was shutting down. Ruth was doing everything she could to keep me alive. They eventually put me on life support till they could get my body healthy again. 

Being unable to do anything was the worst part about all of this. All I could do was watch as they struggled to keep me alive. They took me off the donor blood as soon as my heart began pumping its own. They let him stay for a few days to make sure he was well enough to leave. 

“Do you think keeping him in a blood bag had any affect in her?” Jax asked as he held my hand like always. 

“Possibly but the chances are slim that it would cause her body to shut down. She’s still very weak and highly susceptible to infections since her immune system is down and has been down for a year now.” Ruth replied as she switched the saline bag. 

“Could we have given her the infection?” Ruth shook her head. 

“No one was sick around her and you being malnourished wouldn’t have done anything. She may have had a small virus in her before Josh turned her and it’s now showing up.” She hit a few buttons on one of the machines and wrote down whatever it said. 

I sat in the chair across from Jax and watched everything. It pained me to put them all through this but, I made this choice and they chose to help me. But, was it all really worth it? Did I absolutely have to do this? There was no turning back now. 

Months passed and my body slowly began to get better. My lungs began opening and working on their own with the help of an oxygen tank. All my other organs slowly began to become functional and could feel myself slowly slipping away from whatever form I was in. With each passing day the room and everyone began fading. I could reach out to Lucile to ask her what was going on because she was busy keeping Dex away from Jay. Apparently they had gotten into a fight shortly after Jax recovered. 

Jax would leave my side to eat, shower, and get fresh air a few times a day. He had somehow managed to talk Ruth into letting him keep an air mattress in the room so he could be there in case I woke up during the night. He had gained his initial weight back and then a few extra pounds from not really exercising or doing anything besides sitting around. 

I still looked fragile but was slowly filling out with the help of the feeding tube Ruth had down my throat. I didn’t look as sickly, or have my bones sticking out as much as I did when I first seen myself. When Jax was out of the room I spent my time trying to get back into my body which never worked so I ended up sitting in a chair listening to the hum of the machines driving myself insane. It would’ve been nice if they left the tv or radio on so it wasn’t so quiet. 

Josh would occasionally sit by my side and talk to me. He would always say the same thing maybe not using the same words but the same thing. He’d always ask me to keep fighting, to get stronger and come back to them. That even though he wasn’t completely okay with my choice to do this he supported me in everything as long as I was happy. How sorry he was for changing me without trying to bring me back first. He just couldn’t bare to see a young life taken so soon even if it was by choice. He’d tell me how much he liked Jax and how well they got along. He never once said he was mad at me for doing what I did, that he loved me no matter what. 

Jay never came in. He was still pissed that I had chose to do this. That I couldn’t be content staying a vampire. He’d have Willow tell me things when she’d come visit. She’d always tell me the same thing, that he’d hoped I got better so he could kick my ass and that he hated that I did this. She’d always add how he’s just mad that I didn’t consult the family for any reason. I hope they know that I did this for me, not for Jax or anyone else. I did this because I hated the thought of living forever especially after I murdered my parents, I wanted to be able to grow old and die normally. But, Jay didn’t care, he only saw one part of it and it was Jax. He didn’t care for Jax when we first started hanging out so he especially doesn’t care for him now because of this.

Willow was constantly apologizing for Jay’s behavior and words. Always trying to play peacekeeper whether it worked or not. All she wanted was a happy family with no drama or issues. They had that till I came along and messed everything up because I couldn’t be happy unless other were hurting. Maybe after I changed I’d just move out and never speak to them again, maybe they’d forget about me and move on with their lives. I highly doubted that would help anything but it was worth a shot.


	9. Chapter 9

The room became a dull grey shade. Jax and everyone else seemed to be disappearing as well, I could no longer tell who was who until they talked, or what was going on. Everything was shadow figures and blurs. I tried to reach out and touch someone but, I fell right through them into a darkened room. 

“You think you’re so special. That you can do whatever you want.” Someone said, they sounded a lot like me. I looked around frantically trying to find who belonged to the voice. 

“Show yourself.” I said attempting to stand my ground. I stared back at myself as they stepped closer. She wore black clothes, had dark hair, and make up on. 

“You couldn’t be happy living forever with the perfect life could you?!” She yelled at me. 

“I wasn’t happy.” I spoke in a small voice. She scoffed. 

“Yes you were! You just wanted to ruin their lives some more. You selfish bitch.” 

“No! I wanted to die! That’s all I wanted! But Josh couldn’t let me die! All I wanted was to die.” I broke down crying.

“It’s ok. I know how badly you hated life and how sick you truly were. Dieting would’ve been the best thing for you.” I looked up at myself. She had a cocky facial expression painted across her face. 

“Sick? I wasn’t sick.” 

“Yes you were. You would’ve died anyways. You’re body was slowly shutting down from the fumes in the house from all the crack and meth.” I shook my head and smacked the ground. 

“You lie!” I lunges at myself tackling her to the ground. She didn’t struggle or attempt to fight me off. 

“That’s it. Take your anger out on me, on yourself because you’ve always been weak.” I stood up and stumbled backwards as she sat up. 

“Why are you doing this?” I asked with a shaky voice. 

“Why? Because you haven’t accepted the things you can’t change. You bury everything without dealing with it properly. you’ve ruined their lives since you killed your parents. They had to cover up your murder and now, you’re tearing them apart because you wanted to do a life threatening cure to become human again.” 

“No. They love me despite my flaws. You’re just a bitch trying to make me feel bad about everything.” She smiled an evil smile that sent cold chills straight through my bones. 

“Now you’re catching on! Good for you!” She mocked as she slowly clapped her hands. 

“I want to be with my family. Now.” I said sternly staring her down.

“You’ve gotta fight harder than this. You have to actually try. Reach out and grab life by the throat and take it in, if not. You’ll be stuck here with me forever and I’m gonna make your life hell.” 

I shook my head and ran as fast as I could away from her as she laughed. It was a dark empty vastness that no matter where I went I could still hear her laughing. It seemed to haunt me. Everywhere I turned it was the same scenery. I felt like I was going insane. 

“You can’t escape me!” She yelled from a distance. Yes, I can. I will escape her. I will get out of here and back to my family. 

I closed my eyes and imagined myself looking at everyone’s faces, being hugged, feeling my heart beating again. I crumpled to my knees as pain ripped through my chest. I put my hand there and pulled it away covered in blood. 

“Aww look, you’re dying again.” She laughed, standing in front of me holding a knife splattered with blood. 

“Why?” I begged.

“Why? WHY?! Because maybe, just maybe I think you don’t deserve to live you sorry excuse for a person.”

I let anger rush through me as I stood. I rushed towards her and rammed the knife into her stomach. She stared in horror at me as she held her hands over mine. I twisted the knife as I dug it deeper. She smiled at me and placed a blood soaked hand on my cheek. 

“It’s about time you stood up for yourself. You deserve this.” 

I stared at her confused as she disappeared, the knife fell to the ground with a hard bang that echoed throughout the emptiness. I looked around and the blackness began to disappear into a grey color.


	10. Chapter 10

I looked around in confusion as the black walls fell around me revealing a grey backwash. And someone sitting in the corner curled up. 

"Just go away." She said. Her voice was soft and sad. 

"What's going on?" I asked take a few tentative steps forward. She sighed and turned around, I was shocked to see my face again. 

"You haven't figured it out yet?" She asked as a tear rolled down her cheek. 

"Figured what out?" 

"That you have to kill yourself in order to get to your physical body. You have so much repressed shit that you can't be reborn till you kill your old selves."

I furrowed my brows and stared at her. 

"Why?"

"I just told you. Weren't you listening?" 

"I was but why do I have to kill myself?" She started walking towards me. 

"Because you're a sad person and have to get rid of your past to start your future." She held out a knife to me, I slowly wrapped my hand around it. 

"I'm not a sad person." 

"Maybe not anymore. But, you were. You killed your anger, now you have to kill your sorrow. Then you fears, and lastly yourself as you are now." 

She wrapped her hands around mine and forced me to plunge the knife into her stomach. She disappeared along with the knife turning the room to a crème color. 

"I was a fraud you wouldn't make it." Another version of me said chewing on her finger nail

"You must be fear." She nodded her head and curled into her self balancing on the balls of her feet. 

"Please don't. I'm afraid to die." She pleaded looking at me with fearful eyes. 

There was no way I could kill her. She was a fragile, scared girl. I sat down across from her trying to make myself look as unthreatening as possible. She held a gun out to me with a shaky hand. 

"I can't." I said pushing the gun away. She shook her head and laid the gun in my lap. 

"You have too or else you can't be free. You can't return to the world." 

She gave me a sad smile as she closed her eyes. I sighed and picked up the gun, cocked it, and pulled the trigger. She fell backwards as blood pooled from the back of her head. Her and the gun slowly disappeared revealing a blue-grey room. 

I stared at myself in the mirror. Various weapons were laid out on a table in the corner of the room. I had to kill myself again in order to wake up. I couldn't do this. I couldn't kill myself. It wasn't worth it. 

"Please Lilly. Wake up. We love you." Ruth's voice reverberated around room. I glanced over at the table and shook my head. I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill myself. This is where I stay forever.


	11. Chapter 11

I stared at myself in the mirror for who knows how long. I was covered in blood, dried tears marked my cheeks, my eyes were red and puffy. My clothes were ragged and stiff from the dried blood. I looked absolutely pitiful. 

I sighed and started to stand up when a wave of nausea washed over me. Maybe it was the fact that I was being administered drugs, the fact that I hadn’t eaten in who knows how long, and everything that my body was going through combined. All I knew was that I couldn’t kill myself again. I punched the mirror shattering it into pieces. 

 

I watched as the pieces fell onto the floor. I peered down into the broken pieces of my face. The jagged edges looked so inviting, like an old friend who wanted to say hi once more. I grabbed the gun off the table and shot at the remaining pieces in the frame till nothing but tiny shards remained scattered across the floor in front of it. 

“Lillian. I love you. Please wake up.” Jax’s voice filled the room. It was the first voice I had heard since first walking into the room. I glanced at the table and then at the shards of glass that littered the floor. I had to get back to him. 

I leaned against the wall and hit my head against it a few times. I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh. I had to get back to my family but I couldn’t bring myself to kill myself. I don’t want to be stuck here forever. 

“We need you to come back to us love. The house is too quiet without you.” Willow’s voice sounded sad. Before I knew it the room was being flood with their pleas for me to wake up. I covered my ears and sank to the floor. 

“So much for you killing yourself.” The first version of me said as she stepped through the empty mirror frame. She was transparent and her figure kept rippling like waves. 

“What do you want?” I sneered as I lowered my hands. The voices had become hushed background noise. 

“What I want is for you to woman up, kill yourself, and start a new life. Stop letting the thought of suicide stop you. You want to be back with your family don’t you?” She seemed a little softer than before. 

“Yes, that’s all I want is to be with them. I just- I just can’t bring myself to do it.” She pinched the bridge of her nose before looking at me. 

“Yes you can. Those voices are gonna keep coming till you go mad and either kill yourself or resign yourself to the fact that your gonna be stuck here til they take you off life support.” 

She walked over to me and stooped down when she was a few inches away. 

“You can do this. You wouldn’t have made it this far if you couldn’t.”

She was right. I made it this far, I can make it farther. I just had to get over myself first, which was the hardest part. I stood up, dusted my dirty jeans off and stared at her in defiance. 

“I killed you and the other two. I can do this.” She smiled at me and stood up. 

“That’s my girl. Channel that anger and use it to get out of here. I don’t ever wanna see you again.” She smirked and disappeared. 

I stared down at the shards that had locked me for long enough. I picked up the biggest, most jaggedest one and stared at in my hand. I glanced back to the table where a few knives and another mag of bullets lay. I wasn’t going to take the easy way out with those weapons. I wanted to watch this place burn behind me, finally letting my past go and letting my future in. 

The voices became louder and louder. There’s was nothing I could do to drown them out. I still held on tightly to the shard glancing at it every so often. But, kept somehow talking myself out of it. The voices were practically screaming at me at this point. I wanted it to end. I wanted the voices to stop. I held the blade to my wrist when a beep resounded throughout the room. I knew that beep. That was the heart monitor flatlining. 

“No!” I screamed out as I slit both my wrists as deeply as I could before plunging the shard into my stomach.


	12. Chapter 12

I could still hear the continuous beep of the heart monitor. I couldn’t look around, it’s like my eyes were glued shut. The beeping turned into a regular rhythmic sound. I could feel a needle in my arm and people rushing about the room. Did I do it? Did I make it on time?

“She’s stable now. Her lungs are working normally, her body is no longer shutting down. I think she’s gonna make it.” I could hear the relief in Ruth’s voice as she spoke. I could feel a thumb pad rubbing against my knuckles. 

“Good. she scared me there for a minute.” Dex commented. I wasn’t expecting to hear his voice. 

“I’ll go let them know she’s ok and give you a minute.” Ruth sounded a little unsure of herself as she walked out. 

“Listen Lillian. I don’t even know if you can hear me but, you better wake the fuck up. Jax is miserable without you. The whole damn house is miserable without you. They had to get Jay to leave the house just for me to come see you.” 

Dex sounded tired. 

“We had a bit of um.. Differences of opinion if you will. I supported you doing this while he didn’t. Anyways. Jax loves you more than anything. I’ve never seen him this way over a girl. So, you need to wake up and say yes. I didn’t tell you this but right before you went into a coma. He asked Josh for your hand in marriage and you were mad at him for whatever. He blames himself for starting this, he wishes he told you sooner. So wake up. I uh… I kinda miss you you little shit. And you need to keep Lucile away from me. She’s crazy.” 

I giggled to myself, obviously he couldn’t hear me so it was a one sided thing. 

“Please Lil. Wake up soon. It’s been six months.” He added before I felt his fingers slip from my hand as he left the room. 

It was silent after that besides the hum of the machines. I could faintly make out voices from downstairs but whether it was the tv or the household actually talking to one another. In all honesty I kinda missed sitting in the room having myself yell at me. 

The door closed and latched with a soft click. I so desperately wanted to open my eyes and see who it was but, couldn’t force them to open. 

“Listen to me Lillian. You better wake up, we need you. You’re the only one who can chill jay and Dex out to where they can be in the same room together.” Willow sounded desperate. 

“Please Lil. Get your ass up and fix things with these two. Even Lucile can’t get them to behave unless she forces Dex to leave. Oh, and her and Dex are kind of a thing even though they haven’t said it was an official thing.” 

“What are you doing?” Ruth asked in joking tone. 

“Giving her an update on Lucile and Dex. And, telling her she needs to wake up and deal with them cause the boys are at each other’s throat.” I heard Ruth chuckle as she opened drawers and rifled around in them. 

“She’s got six months to catch up on what’s been going on around here.” Ruth commented. 

I could see a bright light to which I assumed was her shining a light in my eyes. 

“She’s more responsive today so hopefully it’ll be any time now. Her pupils dilated which is a good sign.” 

“Good. She needs to wake up. She’s slept long enough. I’m just shocked she made it after how bad she was those first weeks.” Willow added as she patted my hand. 

“Yeah. She was touch and go for awhile. I’m just glad she’s doing better.” Ruth replied. I felt her smooth my hair back in such a soft loving way. 

I needed to wake up and I needed to wake up soon.


	13. Chapter 13

I’m still not sure what happened. All I know is I bolted upright, gagging and choking on the tub in my throat. Jax and Josh held me down doing their best to keep my calm while Ruth removed it. As soon as the tube was out Josh gave me small sips of water, careful not to overload my stomach. Ruth and Josh pulled me into a hug first before Jax could make even a small attempt. 

“I’m so glad you’re awake.” Ruth cried as she held me out at arms length before adjusting the other tubes and wires. Josh placed a soft kiss on my head before dragging Ruth out against her protests to stay. 

“Hey sleepin beauty. Seven months is a long time not to see your eyes.” Jax smiled as he kissed the palm of my hand. I gave him my best attempt to smile. I still didn’t trust myself to speak after not having spoken in so long and just having a tube removed. I motioned for a paper and pen. 

He chuckled and grabbed the pad of paper from the counter and set it on the small hospital table that was on my left side. I wrote down everything I wanted to say. 

Did you mean it? Are Lucile and Dex really together? Why did Dex and Jay really fight? Catch me up!

He chuckled and placed a kiss on my forehead before he sat down. 

“Jay and Dex fought because Dex took your side and Jay didn’t like that. They exchanged words and got into a physical fight that Josh and I had to break up. Yes as far as I know Dex and Lucile are together. I don’t know what you’re talking about in the first question. And you didn’t miss too much, just a bunch of awkward sad solemn silence.” I rolled my eyes. 

Willow said something about your conversation with Josh the day I went into a coma. Don’t lie to me. 

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before realization dawned on his face. He looked like he seen a ghost and looked super uncomfortable. 

“I uh… I’m not gonna tell you just yet. You need to get better first.” He gave me a small feeble attempt at a smile. I narrowed my eyes at him causing him to sigh. 

“I promise. Once you get better I’ll tell you.” He chuckled as he placed a small kiss on my cheek. 

I glared at him which only made him laugh more. I threw the pen at him hitting him in the chest. 

“She’s alive!!! Lucile yelled out in mock Frankenstein fashion as she burst through the doorway. 

“You watch too many movies.” Dex added slightly annoyed as he followed behind her. I giggled which caused a coughing fit. Lucile handed me a cup of water to help sooth my throat. 

“See look. You almost killed her!” Lucile yelled in mock anger at Dex who rolled his eyes. 

“She’s fine. Took her ass seven months but she’s fine.” He said giving me a wink and a small smile. 

“You two stop.” My voice was barely above a whisper. 

“How ya feelin?” Lucile asked as she poured more water into my cup. 

“Ok. I guess.. When did you two become thing?” I asked in between sips of water. Her eyes widened for a split second before a smile crept across her lips. 

“Oh ya know.. Bout three months now.” She said brushing it off. 

“Yeah three of the worst months of my life. I thought she was crazy before.” Dex said from his spot against the wall. 

“You love it. Especially that thing I do with my tongue.” She said winking at him causing him to look incredibly mortified. 

“Alright you two. This is not what she needs right now.” Ruth said carrying a tray. 

“Aww come on. She needs some entertainment.” Lucile cried. 

“That’s what the tv is for. Now out you two. She’s not well enough to have so many people in here.” Lucile sighed and drug Dex out with her. 

“I feel bad for him. That girl is a handful.” Ruth commented as she set the tray in front of me. 

“Sorry no solid foods for awhile. So soft food will be your best friend till your stomach can handle more. Yogurt, soup, applesauce, some ice cream, anything soft.” She added as she refilled the water jug. 

I huffed and stuck my spoon in the yogurt playing with it. Jax found the remote and flipped through the channels trying to find something on. Ruth stared at me with her arms crossed and a stern look. 

“Stop playing with it and eat it young lady.” She scolded. I slowly began to eat the yogurt taking small bites to see how my stomach would react. 

“Make sure she eats.” She said to Jax as she walked out. 

“Yeah. You heard the woman. Eat your food .” He joked as he settled on a movie. 

I threw my napkin at him and pushed my food away. He pushed my food back in front of me and held the spoon up to my mouth like I was a child incapable of feeding myself. 

“I don’t want anymore.” 

“Too bad. You need to eat.” I sighed and let him fed me the one spoonful before I took over and ate most of the yogurt before shoving the food away again. 

“You ok?” Jax asked worried. I nodded my head and sipped some water. 

“Yeah. Maybe too much for right now.” I said laying back in bed. 

 

I had my head turned slightly to the side letting Jax play with the majority of my hair. I closed my eyes and relished the feel. I watched the movie till I fell asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

I woke up the next morning feeling good. My throat wasn’t as tender as it was the day before and I had more of my voice back. I grabbed my water cup and drank the rest of it. 

I stared at the tv as it played some random show. I tried to sit up by myself but only managed to lift myself up a few inches. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling feeling helpless and weak. 

“You could’ve asked for help.” Jax commented. I looked over at him, his eyes still closed as he reclined in his chair. 

“I thought you were asleep.” He chuckled and sat up. 

“I’ve been up since you drank the rest of your water.” 

“That was like ten minutes ago.” He looked at me smiling. 

“So. You thought I was asleep and tried to do things on your own knowing damn well you can’t yet.” He fixed me with a stern look before helping me sit up. 

“Yeah Yeah. How can I ever build up my strength if I don’t try.” I complained. 

“By letting us help you moron.” Lucile said as she walked in carrying a tray full of breakfast foods. 

“I can sure as hell try.” I argued. They both snickered. 

“You can but we won’t let you. You get the applesauce and juice.” Dex said carrying a tray of drinks. 

“What?! I don’t get coffee or bacon?!” I yelled in slight anger. 

“Yep. No coffee for you, no bacon, no pancakes, nothing but applesauce and juice. Although Ruth said that maybe by lunch time you can have some crackers and if you do well, you can have try solid food for dinner.”

Dex smiled at me as he slipped a piece of bacon onto my hospital tray with a wink. He may have started out a giant douchbag but he grew into a giant teddy bear once he realized I wasn’t going anywhere, especially since I decided to try and kill myself to become human again. 

“Don’t you dare eat that. Dex how could you?” 

Lucile scolded as she started walking over to me. I quickly shoved the bacon in my mouth before she could reach out and grab it. 

“Why didn’t you grab it?!” She hollered at Jax who shrugged his shoulders and sipped on his coffee. 

“Let her learn the hard the way. If she doesn’t wanna listen and try things her body isn’t ready for that’s on her.” 

Lucile stared in shock at Jax as he spoke. Dex’s shoulder shook in silent laughter as he slid me a small piece of pancake to which I ate before Lucile seen. 

“Some boyfriend you are. And, stop giving her food!” She turned on Dex and fixed him with a look of annoyance. 

“Let her eat real food. Jesus! She’s had to have blood for the last year she probably forgot what it tastes like without blood mixed in.” 

They argued for a few minutes til Ruth smacked them both on the back of their heads. 

“That’s enough. If she wants to try solid food she can. As long as she eats her applesauce I don’t care.” Lucile stared in shock with her mouth agape at Ruth before throwing her hands up in the air, grabbed two pieces of bacon off Dex’s plate and walked out. 

“I’ll take care of her later for stealing my food.” Dex said in mock irritation. 

“She’ll be fine. You didn’t give her a lot. Her stomach won’t reject it.” Ruth commented as she began to check my vitals. 

I shoved a spoonful of applesauce into my mouth. It tasted better than I remembered. Dex was right, food tasted better without blood in it. I finished my applesauce and drank my juice happily while the boys ate real food and, Ruth took my IV out. 

“I’m taking this out for a few hours to see how you do since you’re keepin your food down. If you start to throw it up I’ll put it back in.” 

She said to me as she placed a bandage over the injection site. I moved up a little in bed with her help, I was happy to finally be free of the IV, to be free of any tubes in my arm, free to try and help myself without help.


	15. Chapter 15

I spent almost another month in bed unable to lift myself up without help. Ruth had set up a physical therapy routine for me to do to help strengthen my muscles. I would spend an hour exercising til I was sweating. I managed to get myself to the point where I could stand by myself for a few minutes before I needed to sit down or be held up. 

I was getting stronger everyday. Being able to work out for longer periods of time, stand on my own for longer, get out of bed on my own, sit up, and take a shower without needing help. Jax never once left my side through the months of physical therapy, through the pain, sweat, tears, and sometimes blood. Even Dex and Jay began getting along to help me when I needed it. 

I was able to eat regular food like normal. I drank more water than I ever did before, I was the healthiest I had ever been. Hell, I even had abs and defined muscles in my biceps! I had talked Dex and Jax into taking a run with me every morning which they always regretted afterwards but continued to go. Jay would help me work out in the little gym area they had built in the basement, Willow and Lucile made sure I ate enough food throughout the day and ate healthy enough that I wouldn’t start eating too much junk food and revert into a lazy couch potato. 

I had a nice routine going. I would wake up at five every morning to go jogging, take a shower, eat breakfast, work out for thirty minutes every hour, munch in between meals, and stayed active when I had free time. I wanted to stay as active and healthy as I could. I refused to let myself slip back into old habits that made me feel like shit. I wasn’t going to waste my third chance at life, second chance at being human. 

I was taking a small break from my rigorous routine since I had sprained my ankle on my latest run. I was kind of miserable not being able to do anything. I sat on the couch staring boredly at the tv while Willow flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch. 

“Stop looking so sad. You need a break anyways. You can keep pushing yourself like that. Maybe work out a few times a week instead everyday all day.” 

I sighed. She was right, maybe me spraining my ankle was my bodies way of saying chill out. 

“I got your text. Are you ok?!” Jax asked as he frantically slid into the living room. 

“I’m fine. Dex was there and helped me back to the house.” I chuckled as he plopped down on the cushion next to me inspecting me for any other injuries. 

“Good. I should’ve been on this run with you instead of at home redoing the basement and Sylvie’s old room.” I gave him a small smack on his hand. 

“It’s fine. You told Orion you’d help him with her room and you’ve been wanting to redo the basement for awhile.” He sighed and held my hand in both of his. 

“Still. If I was there this probably wouldn’t have happened.” 

“Yes it would’ve. She’s been pushing herself too hard. She needed a break.” Willow chimed in finally deciding on a channel. 

“Good point. Maybe you can help me paint if you’re feeling up to it.” He smiled at me and placed soft, small kisses on my hand. 

“I’ll have to ask Ruth. She’s kind of quarantined me to no activity while my ankle is still swollen.” 

“You can wear a support brace but, you refused to wear it.” Ruth hollered from the kitchen. I narrowed my eyes and sighed. 

“Fine! Anything to get out of this house!” I yelled back as I stood up, I quickly sat back down as pain shot through my leg. Ruth sighed as she walked in brace in hand. 

“You still need to ice it through the day. Don’t stand on it for too long. Take breaks.” She listed off things for me to do as she put the brace on my ankle. 

“I know, I know. I promise I’ll be careful.” She glared at me before helping me off the couch. 

“Make sure she takes breaks. Give her a roller if you have too.” Jax nodded and agreed before helping me to the door and into his car. 

The drive to his house was quiet besides the radio softly playing some alternative station. I stared out the window watching the trees pass by. I glanced down at my ankle, it wasn’t as swollen as it was earlier but it still hurt. 

“You sure you wanna help paint? You can sit and supervise.” Jax asked a little worried. 

“Of course I wanna help. It beats sitting around the house doing nothing.” He grabbed my hand and gave it a small squeeze. 

“Ok. Dex is there too probably still putting the carpet in.” He warned as he pulled into the driveway. 

As soon as we got down the basement steps I noticed all the lights were off and a small glow could be seen from under the door. I kept my mouth shut all the while wondering what was going on. The moment he opened the door my breath caught in my throat.


	16. Chapter 16

Fairy lights were hung throughout the basement, the furniture was pushed out of the way, soft music was playing, and a single light was shining down in a circle in the middle of the room. My hand flew to my mouth as I took in the scene in front of me. 

“What is this?” I asked feeling the tears well up in my eyes. He smiled and took my hand leading me out into the middle of the room. 

“I’ve wanted to do something special for you since you made a full recovery and I thought this would make you smile.” 

“Well, you did a wonderful job.” 

I couldn’t fight the giant smile that was spreading across my face. He pulled me in close as he turned the music up. He supported all of my weight as he danced in a slow circle. 

I lost track of time. Before I knew it Dex had brought down a bottle of wine and set it on the counter with two glasses and left without making a sound. The room was completely lit up by the lights since the sun had long since gone down. I had my head resting against his chest listening to the consistent nesting of his heart as he continued to spin us around. 

“I’ve got something for you.” He whispered softly into my ear as he set me gently on to the floor. I watched as he walked towards the counter and grabbed something before heading back towards me. 

“What are you doing?” I asked giggling. 

He smiled at me and got down on one knee. My heart stopped for a few seconds before it began to flutter erratically in my chest. I covered my mouth with my hands as tears fill my eyes and threatened to spill over. 

“Ever since that day at the mall I knew you were different. This past year has been the best year of my life and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. We’ve been through so much together and I want to be there for you on this wild, crazy journey of life. I want to wake up every morning to you sleeping next to me, I want to bring you breakfast in bed on the weekends, and make you the happiest girl in the world.”

He grabbed my hand and gave it a small squeeze. He pulled a box out of his back pocket and opened it to reveal a small diamond ring. 

“Jax.” I breathed out. 

“Lillian. Will you do my the honors of making me the happiest man in the world by becoming my wife?”

I felt the tears slide down my cheek as I nodded my head. He slid the ring on my finger and hugged me. He spun me around and kissed my head. 

“I love you.” I whispered through my tears as I hugged him back, burying my face in his neck. 

“I love you too.” 

****

I rolled over and slowly opened my eyes. I giggled when I noticed Jax was already awake and watching me. 

“Couldn’t let me watch you sleep?” I asked stretching my arms over my head. 

“No. Not this time.” He pulled me into him placed soft kisses on my lips and neck. 

“Are you two decent?!” Dex yelled as he threw the door opened. 

“No but, you’ve already opened the door so come in.” Jax said slightly annoyed. 

“Whatever. I came down here to clean up. The entire bottle of wine is empty, the lights were still on, and you left the music playing.” Dex complained as he wormed his way in between us like a child. 

“I know. I left them on, on purpose. And the bottle is empty because two people were drinking it.” Jax replied elbowing his brother. 

“Still. I didn’t think she’d be able to drink that much.” He pointed his thumb at me. 

“Hey! I can drink as much as I want.” I smacked his chest. He rubbed the spot and looked at me with mock pain. 

“Ow. Fine. I’ll leave. But you better clean up. I’m not helping you take it all down after putting it up and moving the furniture.”

He got up and walked out after sticking his tongue out at us before closing the door. I didn’t get a chance to do anything before Jax had me pulled against his chest with no chance for escape as he trailed kisses from my neck down to my shoulder. 

“I could lock the door real quick or let him be scared for life if he chooses to walk back in.” 

“Let him be scared for life.”


	17. Chapter 17

Willow and Lucile kept me busy with planning the wedding. I barely had any time to hang out with Jax. I spent most of the time with my head in my hands while they argued about what colors and flowers looked better, what songs should be played at the ceremony, just the simplest of things they argued about. 

Can you sneak away?

Jax’s name popped up on my phone. I glanced at the girls before answering. 

I don’t know they’re arguing about small simplistic things for the wedding. You did this, I blame you.

Yeah yeah. You love me.

I grinned down at my phone before it was ripped from my hands. 

“Hey!” I yelled looking up to see who had my phone. 

“No. You’re supposed to be helping us plan your wedding and instead your texting!” Lucile yelled back as she shoved my phone into her pocket. 

“How am I supposed to help plan it when you two are arguing over the simple things. I gave you a list of ideas I liked for it but, apparently it wasn’t good enough for you.” I argued as I crossed my arms over my chest. 

“You gave us very vague ideas and told us to run with it. So, it’s what we’re doing.” Willow added as she set her bridal magazine down fixing me with a glare. 

“I don’t know what to do! I’ve never been to a wedding or know how to even plan one!” I yelled in defense. 

“It’s fine. You could at least say yes or no to some of our ideas.” Willows said calmly as she patted my hand. 

“Fine. What do you need a yes or no on?”

“Roses, or Lilly’s, purple or green, fairy lights or mason jar lights, rustic or something else?” Lucile asked as she read from the paper in front of her. 

“Umm.. Lilly’s, purple, fairy lights, and rustic sounds fine.” 

She quickly wrote down everything and continued questioning me until her list was done. We then spent the rest of the night going over decoration schemes, what kind of chairs, color of ribbon, order of procession, songs for the reception, dances, everything else a wedding was supposed to have. 

By the time we were done for the day I was so tired I laid on the couch and fell asleep immediately. 

The girls had already started on the decorations and center pieces for the tables before I had my first cup of coffee. 

“Did you even stop?” I asked as I sat at the table watching them glue things together. 

“Lucile did. I didn’t.” Willow replied not bothering to look up for the task in her hands. 

“Of course you didn’t.” I mumbled holding my cup in my hands. 

“Where ya at?!” Jax yelled from the entry way. 

“The kitchen!” Lucile yelled back. I could hear him walking towards us. He stopped short, just outside the kitchen. 

“What the hell is going on here?” He asked as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. 

“They’re doing decorations and center pieces.” I replied leaning into him. 

“All we have left is to get the dresses, tuxes, and set up for the big day.” Lucile said happily as she set her project down.

“You girls do know you still have three months before the wedding. You’ve been doing this for almost a year. Do you know how to relax?” 

They both stopped and stared at him. 

“We know but she hasn’t been super helpful.” Willow growled as she set the hot glue gun down. 

“Alright. Can I steal her from you today?” He asked sweetly. 

“I guess. She’s not much help at this point. Although tomorrow she’ll be busy at the bridal shop. You and Dex and whoever else need to get fitted for your tux.” Lucile demanded as she pointed a fake flower at him. He held his hands up in surrender. 

“Yes ma’am. I promise I won’t keep her out too late.” I hid my laughter behind my hand as I quickly stood up. We quickly left the house before they could pull me back in for some random wedding preparations. 

“Thank you. I thought I was going to go insane. That’s all they do, all. Day. Long.” He chuckled and held my hand as he drove down the road. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sure they wanna make sure it looks amazing.” He tried to reassure me. “I’m taking you somewhere today where you can relax and not deal with all the wedding stuff.” 

“Where we going?” I asked excited. 

“The pier.”

“The pier? Why?” 

“Because they have games, and rides, and it’ll be fun.” 

We spent the first half of the day walking around, playing silly games and winning a few prizes. By the time the sun began to set we were waiting in line for the Ferris wheel. 

“Are you happy with what they’re doing?” he asked holding my hand and swinging it occasionally. 

“Yes. I know it’s gonna be pretty since they’re the ones planning it and everything.” 

“Yeah but, are you happy with it?”

I looked up at him as we moved up in line. He was staring down at me with concern. 

“Yes. I’m happy with it. I honestly don’t really care. At the end of the day I’m still yours and that’s not gonna change because of some wedding.” He chuckled and pulled me into his side as we continued to wait. 

By the time we got in the Ferris wheel it was dark. The pier was lit up and looked absolutely beautiful from the top. I had laid my head on Jax’s shoulder with his arm draped lazily over my shoulders. 

“You look beautiful.” He whispered as he kissed my head.

“Shut up.” I laughed and leaned closer to him. 

“I’m serious. I’m sure I won’t be able to see you for three months so I have to get all the cheesy, cute stuff in now.” I rolled my eyes and glanced up at him. 

“You’ll be fine.” 

“All I have is tonight to hold me over till the big day. I don’t know if I can make it.” He said dramatically. 

“You’ll be fine. You have more than just tonight.” He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. 

“I guess you’re right. I’ll find a way to live.” He smiled as he helped me off the seat. 

We walked towards the parking lot, stuffed animals in hand. I couldn’t help but think of how different my life would be once these three months were up. I would no longer be a single woman, I’d have a husband and I could have kids, and the life I always wanted. I was excited for these three months to quickly pass by.


	18. Chapter 18

I stood, staring at myself in the mirror. The dress was floor length, slim fitting, with lace trim. Willow worked her ass off to make the dress perfect for today. We spent all day yesterday setting everything up. 

“You look gorgeous.” Lucile said as she walked in holding makeup. I blushed and looked at the floor. 

“Is everything still up?” I asked looking at her through the mirror. She smiled and patted my shoulder before fixing my makeup. 

“Everything is fine. All the groomsmen are here, everyone is ready but you.” I let out a sigh of relief. 

“Ok. I guess we can start this whenever.” 

I stood just inside the kitchen doors peering through the curtains we put up so no one would be able to see me. Everyone was talking amongst themselves and smiling. I could see Jax standing up by Josh looking more nervous than I felt. 

“It’s ok. Just breath.” Willow said before she walked out to start the procession party. I watched until it was my turn. Jay came up and linked our arms together. 

“Since Josh is officiating this wedding I’ll be taking his place in giving you away.” He smiled at me before we made our way down the aisle. 

Everyone stood and looked at me smiling. I felt my heart swell as the only person who mattered smiled at me and wiped a start tear away. 

“Who gives this woman away?” Josh asked smiling at us. 

“I do.” Jay said giving me one last hug before handing me off to Jax. 

As the ceremony began I couldn’t stop staring at him. He looked so handsome standing before me in his tux with his hair done. When it came time for the vows I couldn’t hold the tears back as I spoke. He wiped a few tears away during mine and his making me love him more. As had our first kiss as husband and wife everyone cheered. I couldn’t have been happier than I was when we walked down the aisle together. Three months apart was hell but today made it all worth it. 

Everyone had cleaned up and made room for dancing while pictures were taken and I changed dresses. By the time I had emerged outside again all the chairs were gone and the archways were set off to the side so no one bumped into them. 

“Care to dance?” Jax asked as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. 

“Why yes Mr. Lance, I’d love to dance with you.” 

He lead me out into the make shift dance floor and began spinning around in circles. 

“You look beautiful.” He whispered as he held me close. “Makes me glad they kept us apart for those three months.” 

“Hush. You were dying without me.” I laughed as he dipped me backwards earning cheers from everyone. 

“You’re right. That’s why I’m locking Orion and Dex out of the house tonight.” He kisses my cheek as he brought me back up. 

“Can I cut in?” Dex asked tapping on his brother’s shoulder. Jax handed me over and walked to Willow offering a hand to her. 

“I didn’t think you were crazy enough to go through with reverting you vampire status. Let alone crazy enough to keep coming around and making me like you and that crazy ass Lucile.”

“Well you now know my level of crazy. And you know you love her.” 

He snorted and held me closer whispering. 

“I guess so. That’s probably why I got her this stupid promise ring.” I looked at him in shock. He had a smile on his face as he looked down at me. 

“When are you giving it to her?!” 

“I don’t know. Maybe tonight.” 

“You need too. What does it look like?” 

He pulled out a small box from his jacket pocket and opened it. A small silver ring in the shape of a knot sat inside. 

“I think she’ll like it.” 

He looked so unsure of himself. I closed the box and put it into his pocket patting it. 

“She’ll love it.” He smiled at me before the song ended and we left the dance floor. 

I sat and relaxed watching everyone having fun. I kept a close eye in Lucile and Dex seeing if he was gonna ask her in front of everyone or wait till they were alone. 

“You look interested in something.” Josh said as he sat down holding out a cup of water to me. 

“I’m just watching everyone enjoying themselves.” I replied taking the water from him. 

“I’ve never seen you this happy. I’m glad you chose to turn back even though I was against it. I want you to be happy and this is happiest I’ve ever seen you.” 

“It’s not that I wasn’t happy living here with you all I just… I want a normal life. I found someone to spend it with and I want to do the normal stuff couples do.”

He smiled and kissed my head. He stood up and grabbed Ruth’s hand leading her towards the dance floor. Everyone was enjoying themselves laughing and smiling. I smiled to myself seeing how happy everyone was. 

As the night came to a close Jax had snuck me out before anyone noticed and before Dex and Orion left so he could lock them out of them house. He made sure every window and door was locked before tossing me over his shoulder and carrying me downstairs. He kicked his bedroom door open and carried me in laying me on the bed. He leaned over me smiling. 

“I’m sure they’ll find a way in but I have their keys, so it’ll take them awhile.” He said as he wiggles his eyebrows. 

“They’re gonna kick your ass tomorrow.”

“I don’t care. The house is ours for the night.”


	19. Chapter 19

I awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon, eggs, toast, and coffee. I stretched and rolled out of bed, putting a robe on before walking out of the bedroom. 

“There she is.” Jax smiled as he flipped the bacon over. 

“I’m only here for the bacon.” I replied taking a seat at the counter pouring myself a cup of coffee as I waited for the bacon to be done. 

“How’d you sleep?” He asked glancing at me as he sprinkled cheese on the eggs. 

“I’d say like the dead but the dead don’t sleep sometimes. So like a baby.” He chuckled shaking his head. 

“So you slept good?” He asked as he set a plate in front of me. 

“Yes dork. I slept good.” He rolled his eyes at me as I shoved a piece of bacon in my mouth. 

“Good. I was-“ he was cut off by the basement door opening bouncing off the wall as Lucile walked in in her grand fashion. 

“Well, well. Good morning newlyweds.” She smiled as she slid into the seat next to me stealing a piece of toast. 

“Good morning. What are you doing here?” Jax asked slightly annoyed. 

“Well. I brought your drunken brother home last night and wasn’t able to leave. He has a death grip when he wants to cuddle.” She said as she bit into her food. 

“Yeah. Drunk Dex is a softy. Much sweeter than sober Dex.” Jax said making Lucile and himself a plate. 

“Yeah. Thanks for the warning. So, how come you two aren’t taking a honeymoon?” She asked stabbing her fork into her eggs. 

“We have our whole lives to travel. We’re rather just stay home, save money, and then go see the world. Plus, we couldn’t pick somewhere to go.” I replied moving my eggs from one side of my plate to the other. 

“Well shit girl. You should’ve figured that out awhile ago.” 

“I know. But we couldn’t decide so we’re gonna wait and go everywhere.”

Lucile smiled before shoving eggs into her mouth. It was a smile that told you the person was up to something. 

“That’s better than nothing I guess.” Her smile never once faded. 

“SON OF A BITCH!! LUCILE GET YOUR ASS UP HERE NOW!” Dex yelled from his room upstairs. Lucile broke out in laughter, holding her stomach as she got off the chair before she fell. 

“What did you do?” I asked not knowing I wanted an answer. 

“I did more than tie him to the bed.” She winked at me. We could hear Dex struggling upstairs. 

“WOMAN GET UP HERE OR YOU WONT GET IT!” Lucile stopped laughing and stared up at the ceiling. 

“What won’t you get?” I asked already knowing the answer if it was what I thought it was. 

“He told me last night after you two left that he had something for me. But, he wouldn’t give it to me last night.” Her voice was soft and quiet. 

“Then go let him out so you can get your present.” I said shoving her towards the door.

I watched as she disappeared up the stairs. I could hear her making her way to his room. Hushed voices could be heard through the vents. I couldn’t make out the words, I resigned myself to eating my food when a shrill scream echoed through the house. 

“Guess he asked her.” I mumbled as I munched in my toast. 

“Asked her what?” Jax asked as he shoved eggs and bacon into his mouth. 

“To be his. He gave her a promise ring.” I replied casually. He dropped his fork onto the counter as he stared at me wide eyed. 

“He did what?!” 

I didn’t get a chance to answer him before Lucile ran down the stairs and grabbed me in a hug. 

“Look at how pretty it is!” 

She squealed as she held her hand out. I laughed and looked at it for the second time. Dex slunk his way in and sat at the counter trying not to be noticed. 

“It’s beautiful.” I commented smiling at her then at Dex who rubbed his neck uncomfortably. 

“Good job bro. You finally got one.” Jax joked as he smacked his brother on the shoulder. 

“Yeah yeah. I got one that tortures me.” I muttered grabbing a coffee mug. 

“You love it!” Lucile hollered as she bounded over to him wrapping her arms around his waist. He rolled his eyes and fought back the smile that was threatening to stretch across his face. 

“So how long you guys gonna wait to get married?” Jax grinned as he elbowed Dex in the arm as he made his way over to me. 

“Not for awhile.” Lucile said quickly. 

“She’s gotta lower her crazy level before we get married.” Dex added, I laughed. 

“That’s never gonna happen.” I said holding my coffee cup in my hands. 

“New topic! Guess who brought a girl home.” Lucile wiggled her eyebrows with a mischievous grin on her lips.

“No shit! Who?” Jax asked excited. 

“I don’t know her name. But she’s human so nothing to worry about.” Lucile shrugged her shoulders. 

“Hopefully she’s a keeper.” Jax added taking the last piece of bacon of that was on my plate. 

“I don’t know. She’s really pretty though.” Lucile sounded a bit jealous. 

“Not as pretty as you.” Dex said doing his best to cheer her up. 

“Shut up. You have to say that since I’m the only piece of ass you can get.” She smiled and playfully hit his arm. He chuckled and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. 

We could hear the floorboards upstairs creak under someone’s weight. We heard the soft voices before the front door closed and Orion walked down stairs. 

“There he is. Mr. Player.” Jax mocked as he clapped his hands together. 

“Shut up!” Orion blushed as he plopped down on the couch. 

“So… how was she? Who was she? Tell me everything.” Jax pried as he sat in the chair. 

“She, her name was Olivia, she’s sweet, completely normal, and we didn’t have sex. She was drunk and I offered her a place to sleep it off.”

“What! You mean to tell me you didn’t even try to make a move!?” Dex asked in surprise. 

“Not everyone is a horn dog like you moron.” Orion snapped. Dex looked offended for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and nodding his head. 

“You’re right. But, I get my fix.” He pulled Lucile close making her giggle as he nuzzled his nose into her neck. 

“Yeah trust me, I know.” He sounded irritated.

“Then sound proof your room dumbass.” Dex snapped. 

“You sound proof your room bastard.” Orion replied. They went back and forth til Jax threw something at the both of them. 

“Enough. Sylvie moves out, just move rooms. They’re far enough apart that you can’t hear what the other is doing.” 

“Fine. But I get the room.” Orion said as he hoped off the couch and walked up the stairs. 

“I wasn’t gonna move rooms anyways.” Dex mumbled warning an elbow in the abdomen from Lucile. 

I sat in my chair and watched everyone talking and laughing. I couldn’t help but smile, I had never been this happy.


	20. Chapter 20

We were celebrating our two year anniversary, Lucile and Dex were planning their wedding for next year, and we were finally traveling the world. We were currently in Romania sight seeing, and enjoying life. 

It was our last day in Romania and was in the middle of packing our things to head to the airport to head home for the holidays when a sudden wave of nausea washed over me. I felt the room begin to sway, and my vision began to go in and out. I placed my hands on the bed tryin to steady myself. 

“Jax… somethings wrong.” I managed to get out through the dizziness that was swirling around in my head. 

“You ok?” He asked coming out of the bathroom. I didn’t get a chance to respond before everything went black. 

I could hear the hum of a hospital around me as I regained consciousness. I could feel the warmth of something in my hand and gave it a small squeeze. 

“Hey beautiful.” Jax said. I could tell he was exhausted. 

“I’m sorry.” I apologized, not sure what I was apologizing for. 

“Shh. I called Josh and he pulled some strings. One of his friends is a doctor here. He’s aware of your situation.” He brushes some hair out of my face. 

“What happened?”

“You fainted. I couldn’t get you to wake up so I brought you here. I’ve been waiting for the test results. I think Willow and Jay are on their way here even though I told them not to come.” 

“How long have we been here?”

“A few days. They did a bunch of tests as soon as you got here, gave you fluids and checked your vitals.” 

Before I could say anything the door to the room opened. Willow and Lucile poked their heads in. 

“Oh thank goodness we have the right room.” Willow said happily as she walked in. Lucile, Dex, and Jay behind her. 

“You Guys seriously didn’t have to come.” Jax breathed out. 

“Oh hush. We brought you food and coffee.” Dex growled as he handed his brother a bag and styrofoam cup. 

“Are you ok? What happened?” Willow asked taking my hand. 

“I don’t know. We’re waiting.” 

“You gotta stop scaring us like this. My poor heart can’t handle it.” 

“Your heart doesn’t even beat.” Dex muttered. Lucile smacked him across the face before pointing to the corner. He walked over and sat in the chair rubbing his cheek. 

“Ignore him. He’s just grouchy cause he had to sit next to Jay the whole way here and didn’t get to sleep.” Lucile apologized as she stood on my other side. 

A soft knock on the door stopped anyone else from talking. The doctor walked in, clipboard in hand. 

“I’ve got all the results.” He stated as he stood at the foot of the bed. Jax set his stuff down and held my hand waiting for the news. 

“Is she gonna be ok?” Willow asked, her voice shook with fear. 

“She’s gonna be ok as long as she does what she’s supposed too. I’ve already called Josh and told him and Ruth what was going on.” I closed my eyes waiting to hear the bad news. 

“What is then? Good poisoning?” Lucile asked, more demanded to know. 

“She’s pregnant. Her body overheated which is due to the fact that the father is a werewolf.” 

I didn’t hear anything else. All I heard was pregnant and my mind shut everything else out. I didn’t think it was possible considering everything that I had been through. Especially going from dead to alive again, I didn’t think it was possible. 

“Are you ok?” Jax asked rubbing my cheek. I shook my head trying to clear it. 

“Umm… Yeah. I guess. What did he say? I kind of zoned out.” I still sounded kind of far away. 

“You have to stay hydrated, cool, and eat. Like a lot.” Willow replied looking at me concerned. 

“We should go home.” I began taking the IV out, and the monitor stickers off when Willow and Jax stopped me. 

“You have to wait till you’re discharged. We’re not going anywhere till he says your ok enough to travel.” Jax looked at me with worry in his features. I put my hand on his cheek, he closed his eyes and leaned into it pressing it against his cheek. 

“I’ll be ok. I want to go home. I want to be around Ruth and Josh for all this. I don’t want to be in some strange place with a strange doctor.” He snorted and smiled a little. 

“I’ll see what I can do.” Dex said from his spot across the room. 

I laid back and relaxed the best I could with the information I was just given. How could I be pregnant. I mean, I know how it happens I’m no fool but, with everything my body has been through I was sure my chances weren’t good. I closed my eyes and took deep relaxing breaths. 

I guess I had fallen asleep because when I woke up the room was dimmer with only a few lights on. Everyone was sitting around watching the tv, trying to distract themselves from what was going on. 

“When can we go home?” My voice as soft and quiet as I spoke. 

“Soon love.” Jax responded as he kissed my hand lightly. 

I let out the breath that I was holding in as I settled my gaze on the tv. I didn’t get too interested in whatever was playing before the doctor walked in with a clipboard full of papers. 

“You’re being released. Go straight to Josh and Ruth’s. They’re gonna take care of you from here on out. They’re prepared and going to be waiting for you all at the airport.” He said as he held the clipboard out to Jax, I watched as he signed all the paperwork as the doctor began to unhook the machines. 

“Thank you.” He said as he handed the clipboard back. 

Willow and Lucile helped me into the bathroom so I could change out of the hospital gown. I stood there for a minute staring at myself in the mirror. I still couldn’t believe that I was pregnant. I walked out of the bathroom, Dex immediately grabbed my arm to help me stay steady and walk straight. I still wasn’t feeling a hundred percent. 

We waited in the terminal for our flight time. I had my head resting on Jax’s shoulder with my eyes closed trying to get some sleep when they announced over the intercom system for our party to board the plane. We all sat in the same row, as we waited for the others to board the plane Dex switched seats with Willow so he wasn’t sitting by Jay. 

“When we get back to the states I think I’ll make us some juicy steaks.” Dex said as he looked at me and smiled. I chuckled and patted his hand. 

“You gonna cook it in beer?” Jax asked giving my hand a small squeeze.

“Of course. What else would I cook it in?” Dex asked giving his brother a dirty look. 

“Whatever. The little pup better like steak or I might have to disown him.” Dex smiled as he gently rubbed my stomach. 

“He might eat it when he gets older.” I smiled and leaned my head back against the seat. 

“He? Why not a her?” Jax asked grinning. 

“Fine it.” He snorted and kissed my knuckles.

 

“Let’s just get through the pregnancy before you all start arguing about the baby.” Lucile said leaning over in her seat. 

“Yeah. Let’s not jinx anything you morons.” Willow added leaning forward to look at us. 

“Fine. Fine. But I’m still making steak.” Dex said defensively. 

As the plane began to take off my stomach began to churn. I gripped the bag the flight attendant had given me tightly in my hands. Jax rubbed my back as I hunched forward with my eyes closed trying to fight off the nausea. As soon as the plane leveled out I was fine. I drank my water and focused on staying hydrated till we got home. When the plane began to land again the nausea hit, I held my head in my hands as I waited for the plane to come to a complete stop. 

As soon as I was off the plane I made a beeline for the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and emptied the contents of my stomach. I sat against the wall and tried to get control of my breathing. 

“Lilly? You in here?” Willow asked as she walked in. 

“Yeah. I’m in the last stall.” I answered wiping the tears from my eyes. 

“I got you a ginger ale and some crackers to help your stomach.” I could see her shoes from under the door as she leaned against the sink. 

“Thank you.”

I managed to get out before dry heaving into the toilet. I wiped my mouth with some toilet paper before standing up. I slowly opened the door and made my way over to the sink. I splashed some cold water on my face and rinsed my mouth out. 

We made our way to where the others were waiting with Josh and Ruth. I munched in the crackers as we walked. I could see the concern on everyone’s faces as I got closer. 

“I’m fine. Just morning sickness. And probably from the plane.” I smiled and wrapped an arm around Jax’s waist to steady myself as we walked out and to Josh’s Tahoe. 

By the time we got to the house all I wanted to do was sleep. I was extremely exhausted, and I felt incredibly weak. Jax helped me up to my old room and tucked me in, placing a kiss on my forehead before leaving the room. 

The next six months flew by. I had no idea how fast time would go when I had nothing to do but sit and wait. Everyday was a struggle. Sometimes I was too exhausted to do anything, other days I had so much energy I didn’t know what to do with and would regret it the next day. Jax had been renovating the basement to add an extra bedroom for the baby so he wasn’t around too much which sucked. 

I spent the most of my time on the couch reading and watching tv. I ate a lot of meat and fruit which was fine I normally ate a lot of meat anyways but this was almost like an overload of meat. We were waiting till the room was ready to be painted and decorated before we find out the gender. I had done a lot of googling, reading, and talking with Ruth and the way I was carrying was hard to tell what it was without an ultrasound. I so desperately wanted to know what we were having but, I had agreed to wait till the guys finished the room. 

I had a few weeks left when we finally found out we were having a boy. The room got painted and decorated quickly. We had everything we could possibly need for him. Jax and I didn’t have to buy anything besides diapers and wipes when we run out because Lucile, Willow, and Ruth had already spoiled him. Even Dex went out of his way to make sure his nephew had clothes and toys. With each passing day I would feel worse, not tired or exhausted. Just, like I couldn’t do this anymore. 

By the time he was ready to make his appearance I had no energy to push. Ruth had to do an emergency c-section, he came out crying and healthy. I could feel myself slipping away. I fought as hard as I could to stay, I had to be there for my son as he grew up. I couldn’t leave him just yet. 

I spent many days recovering. I had lost a lot of blood but with some transfusions and rest I was making a full recovery. I held my son and fed him every chance I got. Jax would always change his diapers till I gained enough strength to stand on my own. When I was well enough I was able to go home, I enjoyed taking naps with my son, hearing him laugh in his sleep, and just being around him. He was our little miracle, he’s what made my life worth living, what made my decision to change back to human the best thing I ever did.


End file.
